You're not alone in feeling this.
OCD
Source: NICE / World Health Organization
The reality
OCD is a pattern of unwanted intrusive thoughts and the urge to do something to 'neutralise' the anxiety they cause. It's not about liking things tidy.
A word of kindness
The thoughts that scare you are not your secret self — they're the very thing you're fighting. That fight is hard, and it's not a sign you're a bad person.
Something you could try right now
Don't argue with the thought — let it be there without acting on it. The urge is loud, but it isn't an instruction. This is hard, skilled work; a GP or a CBT therapist can help you build that muscle.
Nothing here is a diagnosis or therapy. Figures are indicative population estimates from public health bodies — not advice about you.